Showing posts from January, 2018

What If You're Not Happy To Be Pregnant?

I have a little tradition on New Year’s Day of reflecting back over the previous years, as I plan for the year ahead. I browse our photos and scrapbooks, and I read through my Facebook memories.

I noticed that that on this day in 2013, my midwife was visiting our home for a postpartum visit, newborn screen, and signing the birth certificate for our seventh baby. (The Baby turned five years old a couple days ago!) There were many joyful posts and pictures of the new baby.

Reading through all the joyful posts about the baby’s birth, I still remember...
nine months prior to that...
sitting alone in my bedroom with the door locked, watching that positive line grow darker on the pregnancy test. I couldn’t breathe.

Honestly, I had a meltdown.

I had suffered postpartum depression with my previous two pregnancies, panic attacks with the last one, the baby had just turned a year old, and I was just beginning to see the light at the end of the tunnel.
I didn’t see how I could possibly go throu…